Morning Glory
Have you ever felt like you were floating? Like you don’t know where you are or what you’re doing but somehow you keep going through the motions?
I’m not sure if it’s the panera that we’re still going through, making the year mark at my job, the meds, capitalism, or all of the above, but lately my depression has kicked in a bit stronger and wasn’t sure what was going on with me.
When my depression hits harder than usual, I tend to cave into myself and turn into a hermit crab (hello Cancer rising), and then I can’t seem to get myself out of my shell. I love to rest as much as possible, but sometimes it’s hard to know when I’m resting to recharge and when I’m resting because I’m depressed and unmotivated/too tired/anxious to do anything.
It’s not a good feeling, and easy for me to start having that floating aimless feeling. Luckily, I have a very strong support system and gained inspiration from my husband. If you know him, you know how much he loves to always have a project going on, whether it’s in our garden, fixing something in our house, or something design related, dude is ALWAYS busy! That amount of productivity is exhausting to me, but then I realized that my productivity and reasoning behind it doesn’t need to look like his or anyone else’s.
As someone who lives to chill, giving myself busy work goes against my gospel of relaxation and living a life of mental and emotional ease. However, depression was weighing on me and winning, and I knew I needed a distraction to get me out of my shell.
I claim to be a morning person, meaning that I enjoy a slow relaxing morning, so much that I hit snooze on my alarms about 3-4 times every morning and then I’m rushing to get everything I’d like to get done before I have to start work 🙃 So not a great morning person, but I swear I’m trying! Then one day I opened my meditation app that I rarely use, and decided to do a quick 5 minute guided meditation. It felt really good afterwards, and not sure that I did it right but was proud of myself for even trying. I started doing it every morning as part of my new morning routine I was committing myself to; wake up and get out of bed (immediately), guided meditation, yoga asana practice, journal, and workout. Even though I don’t do every single one of those things every day, I manage to do some of them and I get to be proud of myself for trying.
With meditation being so new to me, it was really hard to sit still and breathe and close my eyes without moving my body, which is how I usually meditate when I’m doing a yoga asana practice. Sitting still is really hard, so if you’re interested in trying meditation, know that you’re doing it right even if you can’t sit still. What I love most about the guided meditations I’ve been doing is how it assures me that my mind will wander, and helps me observe my thoughts from afar. I personally like to count my breaths because it gives me something to focus on when I can’t let go of my thoughts. Meditating in the morning has been so beneficial for me so far, because it immediately gives me a reason to be proud of myself for the day. If nothing else, at least I did a meditation. I know that meditating is not for everyone and I totally get that. I just reached a point where I was willing to try anything to help get me out of depression, and so far meditation has really helped me.
I think I’ve mentioned this before, but making lists is another huge help for when my depression strikes. I noticed that my yearly planner was almost over, and figured since I’m committing to this new morning routine and overall getting more organized (hello Virgo szn!) I bought a cute new planner to start fresh with my new routine and daily to-do’s. Whether a work obligation or something I’ve been meaning to do but keep forgetting, I write down tasks I want to get done throughout the day. I made sure to buy a super cute planner so that it actually makes me want to use it daily. I know that when depression hits, it can be really hard to even get out of bed, but guess what? You can write down a super easy list like “Get out of bed, take shower, eat, call a friend.” Writing down your to-do list in your new planner makes you feel accomplished and cute!
Look, I know saying stuff like “make a morning routine” and “make lists to help distract you from depression” are as groundbreaking as florals for Spring, but we don’t need to reinvent the wheel here! These two changes have been immensely helpful for me in treating my depression. Sometimes we need to simplify as much as possible to stay sane. As someone who is highly sensitive and is easily overwhelmed, less has definitely been more. Getting down to basics can help you remember to check in with yourself, provide a sense of accomplishment, and keep your mental struggles at bay. Do whatever feels good to you. ❤️
