Words of Affirmation For Perfectionists
Hi chulas! First of all I wanted to thank you so much for your patience on these blog posts. I’m going to start publishing them on a monthly basis, it’s what feels best for me right now ❤️
To be honest, I put A LOT of pressure on myself to put out the perfect content. I kept asking myself Are people going to relate to this topic? Is this even worth talking about? Is anyone even reading this?
For as long as I’ve known myself, I’ve always put this pressure of being the best —ok, perfect—version of myself at all times. Maybe it comes from childhood or maybe it’s my Capricorn sun, but I’ve always told myself "why wouldn’t I want to be my very best all the time?”
With this mentality, I’ve always tried to avoid making mistakes in all aspects of my life. When I did make even the smallest mistake, I would internally beat myself up and say things like “Why would you do that, you’re smarter than that,” or “How could you not have seen that coming,” or even “You look dumb now.”
How mean is that?? And that’s how I spoke to myself every day! I would never say any of those things to people I love, so why would I speak to myself that way? Somewhere along my life I felt like I didn’t deserve to feel good until I “earned” it (I know it’s weird, still working through this in therapy). Somehow that turned into “beat yourself up first and then you’ve earned the good feelings.” As I type this, the logic makes zero sense and is actually laughable, but it’s so hard to break a bad habit!
One of the things I’ve been working on is forgiving myself for not being perfect. For putting unnecessary pressure on myself. For always punishing myself. Trying to be nicer to myself. And reminding myself that perfection isn’t even real or achievable. Instead of “why would you do that,” now it’s “you did your best at the time” and instead of “you look dumb now” "it’s “they probably have already forgotten that thing you did” which could be a better response, but you know, baby steps!
How we talk to ourselves is so important. I’ve been imagining myself as 5 year old me and thinking, would anyone talk to little Sarah (or any 5 year old for that matter) that way? Probably not. I’m starting to allow myself to not try to be so perfect, and try to be more present. I’m starting to be more ok with not being super productive, feeling tired, resting, filling in time with some task, etc. After all, we’re still recovering from what happened to us for the last year and a half, and the residual anxieties and feelings we still have about life. Why waste time trying to be perfect when we could appreciate ourselves as we are? Nobody is putting this pressure on myself except me. Perfection is boring anyway! All I can do is present whatever version of my best self at the moment and be ok with that.
